To mark the occasion, we enjoyed a picnic dinner and some time at Eastwood Metropark. Eastwood has become our favorite stomping-grounds this summer since it has both an abundance of “nature” (read: longish grass, water, and birds/ducks) and a good playground.

We’ve got one more Saturday morning full of t-ball games tomorrow and then we’ll rest up for the big day Monday. Not gonna lie, I might be doing a happy dance by 0830 Monday morning. Together all summer is cool, but school days are awesome.

PS – The blog is back!! I’m going to try to make this a regular-ish thing, so come back soon!

I wish I was a camera
I would take a picture of
All the small and subtle stuff
Everything we can’t give up
I’ll keep my memories all intact
Of how we love and how we laugh
I wanna be a camera
I wanna be a photograph

I want it all to just slow down long enough that I capture all the little things that make my babies special, the things we swear we’ll never forget but that fade by the time the terrible two’s have passed.

I wish I was a photograph
Of times and places in the past
The truth is every picture’s old
Taking seconds or a year ago
This way we could stay the same
Let the world around us start to change
I wish i was a photograph
Or maybe just a picture frame

The time is so fleeting that, seconds after something happens, it’s all a memory.  Babies roll over for the first time only once; only one step is the first one.  Every milestone, every change moves them farther along their path.

A box and a pinhole set in the window to capture the path of the sun
You can hold on to lighting right when it’s striking, if you keep the shutter open
Digging through the thumbnail proofs
The ones I keep are ones of you

Maybe if we set things up just right – start a blog, take thousands of photos, terabytes of videos – we can remember it all or at least archive it for later reference?  How do you capture the way they smell when they’ve been outside to play on a spring day or just after a cozy winter bath?

I wish I was a picture frame
The kind that you can get engraved
One that says “I love you Jill,”
One that says, “I miss you Jane.”
Now I know you won’t get scratched
Underneath a pane of glass
I wanna be a picture frame
I wanna be a photograph

I want to bottle up their lives and memories and put them under glass, so nothing will hurt them or tarnish them.  Something this precious should be protected.  The frame would say, “I love you” so that no one would ever doubt that the protecting was all simply for love of those kiddos.

I wish I was a photograph
So nobody would have to ask
Who was in your high school play?
Or, What was on your wedding cake?
I could be a college crush
I could be an image of
How we live and how we love
I wish I was a camera

How we live and how we love
I wish I was a camera

All the little moments -the ones to review, the ones to relive – I want to record the times they can’t remember so that my kids can look back and know.  So they can see how they were happy; so they can see how much they were (are) loved.  I want them to remember, through my own memory, how each day, development, word, deed, and thought was cherished (even the crummy ones).  I want to be an image of that feeling for them; I want them to know how we lived (for them) and loved (for them).

But, since just reading the archives of this place reminds me how weak my memory is for the details, I’m going to try to get some stuff recorded before it’s gone for good.

Since I last wrote, Matt’s been to San Antonio for a week, I’ve opened a new veterans center at UNLV and been to Champaign, IL, Ava started dance classes again and Noah has started walking.  To say we’ve been chasing life would be an understatement.

Matt’s trip to San Antonio was of the last minute, emergency kind since he needed to go visit Michael on his return from Afghanistan.  Michael was hurt, which I’m not really going to talk about until I have his permission, but we were (are) so grateful to have him home and on the road to recovery.  Matt was gone for 8 days, but I think that was probably only barely enough time.  We hope to head back to San Antonio in mid-October so the whole family can get to see him.

After two years of advocacy and foundation building, UNLV has finally opened a one-stop shop for veteran services.  I’m so excited about the possibilities for this center and really believe that it is a game-changer for UNLV student veterans.  We opened during the week that Matt was gone, so it was a little bittersweet (all my UNLV vets are someone’s Michael) and also a little hectic.  I don’t recommend single parenting during one’s most busy work week ever.  Chances are good stress levels will be high and patience levels will be low.  Last weekend, on Sunday, I traveled with Liz and another colleague to the University of Illinois – Urbana-Champaign to do a presentation about our vets program at UNLV.  It was fairly well-received and we also were encouraged by other presentations that helped us to know we are on the right track with our work.

Noah transitioned to a new classroom at school during the week Matt was gone and has been having a great time in toddlers.  His teachers, Miss Amy, Miss Nettie, & Miss Abby, have all been awesome.  This is the classroom where Ava started at Bright Horizons, so we already feel pretty comfortable with how things go in there.  With only a week or so of peer pressure in the toddler room, Noah was up and walking almost everywhere.  He still crawls if it seems more convenient, but has realized how much more he’s able to do on two feet.  He’s a little steadier every day and is truly turning into a toddler.  At school he sits in a chair at a table to eat meals, sleeps on a cot & is learning to play nicely with others and follow directions.  At home, he plays a little more independently and still clearly thinks his big sister hung the moon.  No one can get him to laugh at silliness like she can.  At his 12 month well-baby check, he was completely normal.  He weighed 21 lbs, 5 oz, and was 30 inches long.  We had another doctor appointment about a week ago and he’d gained another pound.  Whole milk is really doing its thing for him.

Speaking of big sister, Ava has been learning so much at school lately.  Since last I posted, she’s learned about the solar system, bats, soccer, football, and cars.  The solar system, in particular, struck a chord and she’s still fascinated with all things planet, moon & stars.  She’s also started dance classes again and being six months older has obviously benefitted her.  She follows along a little better and isn’t the baby of the class anymore.  Whoozers is also just growing up, getting smarter.  Today, while we were playing outside, she wanted to write letters with her paintbrush and water.  It’s exciting to see her start to “get it.”

It’s our fourth year here in Vegas and that means it’s assignment matching time.  Matt got word last week that he’s got a job in Dayton, so we’ll be heading back there next summer.  We’re super excited to be heading back to our house – the one with the huge backyard and all the family-friendly activity so nearby.  That news has me pining for fall and trees and cooler weather but, alas, it’s 100 degrees here in Vegas still and it’s a full year until we’re back on the other side of the Mississippi.

Our house in Ohio.  Doesn’t it look cozy?

A couple of anecdotes to remember:

~The other night when I was asking Ava what she learned at school that day, she replied, “Mommy, why are you always asking about learn, learn, learn??”  So exasperated with the nightly inquisition!

~Noah is such a bruiser.  He comes home nearly every day from school with some sort of damage to his face from falling or running in to something.  On Tuesday when I picked him up after his latest incident, Abby kept a copy of the report and said, “Well, I’ll just add it to the pile!”

~After seeing Lion King on the stage at Mandalay Bay, Ava is obsessed.  The movie is an instant classic although she’d only seen it once before and we are constantly playing “Simba” and “Simba’s mommy or daddy.”  Preschoolers are wonderfully impressionable.

~While we thought that Ava was incredibly musically inclined as a baby, her little brother may just have her beat.  He shakes his booty like none other and even likes to conduct the music he’s hearing.  Doozers has a pretty good sense of rhythm already.

~Ava’s been begging to “go see Rebels” so we finally did last Saturday.  We went to a UNLV women’s volleyball match.  She loved it, even though they got trounced, and Noah also liked all the clapping.

~We took the kids to see fireworks, postponed from July 4th, at Lake Las Vegas last Saturday night.  Ava loved all but the finale – she didn’t like them all going off at once.  True to his “chillest baby ever” reputation, Noah was completely unfazed by the loud noises and explosions.

I hope to get a Noah-at-13-months post up soon, but I have a few days until he hits that milestone.  Probably I’m the worst Mom ever for missing the one year milestone, but we got a little sidetracked right about when I should have been writing it.  In light of that guilt, I’ll pledge to get it done this month.  Here’s to promises kept!

1.  Last week, Ava’s preschool class talked about what they were going to be when they grow up.  Monday through Wednesday morning, she was going to be a princess.  But, on Wednesday afternoon she decided she was going to be a mommy instead.  When I asked her if she was going to be a mommy who stayed home with her babies or a mommy who went to work, she told me she was going to “go to work and chew bubblegum.”  She’s seen the bubblegum dispenser I keep on my desk and has decided that that’s what I do when I come to work.    Whoozers also chose her outfit to dress up like a mommy for school on Thursday…khaki shorts, cute blouse, and a headband.

2.  This week at school, Ava’s class is learning about volcanoes.  The lesson yesterday was so terrifying to her that she cried all the way through it and had to be reassured repeatedly that there aren’t any volcanoes anywhere near Las Vegas.  Awesome.

3.  Noah continues to grow like a weed and has progressed from cruising to walking with his walker.  His new favorite game is to walk back and forth on the tile from one end of the house to the other.  We’re really wishing we’d bought a more maneuverable baby walker.  Also, he’s stood on his own for a few seconds a couple of times.  No consistency there yet, but it’s only a matter of a couple of weeks before this little dude is off to the races.

4.  Doozers is really an independent kid.  Must be the second baby thing, but he’s pretty much content to be plunked down in the middle of the playroom with some toys and have at it.  That independent streak leads to frustration, though, when there’s something he can’t do.  And that frustration leads him to biting the offending toy.  We’re thinking we’re going to need to take proactive steps to keep that from developing into a habit.  Kiddos who hit can stay in school, but kiddos who bite get booted to the curb.

5.  For all the toy biting, I can’t for the life of me get Noah to eat real table food.  He’s all about the purees, oatmeal and cheerios.  He’ll eat chunky food and will feed himself, but won’t feed himself soft-cooked veggies or breads.  This is such a new thing for me…Ava flat out refused purees starting at 10 months.  I don’t know how to teach someone to like real food.

6.  I’ve got a real interest in teaching Noah to eat real food because I don’t really want to spend all the time making purees anymore.  Our schedule is hopping around here and Matt’s been at work a lot lately.  I’m thinking that any job that he could work fifty hours a week and have no night and weekend time would be an awesome step up.

7.  Speaking of a hopping schedule, we got to hang out with some great TPS friends last Thursday night and will get to go to a mini-TPS reunion this weekend at Edwards.  The Traynors are back on the left coast and we’re all getting together to celebrate their arrival as well as Sparky’s return from a desert on the other side of the world.  We’re so excited to go see these people this weekend!

8.  Just to keep things interesting (and not get too settled in at home), we took off for Mt. Charleston right after the Traynors left on Friday morning.  We spend Friday night camping on the mountain and got home mid-afternoon on Saturday.  We were wiped out when we got home and spent the rest of Saturday recuperating.  We all had a good time, though, so think we’ll go again soon.  We’re slowly working up to longer camping trips…pretty soon we’ll leave for days at a time!

9.  Since Sunday was our only day at home this weekend, we used it to get a bunch of stuff done.  Of course, nothing we did was on any of our mile-long lists of “things to get done” but, instead, we engaged in some extreme puttering.  You know, the kind where you work on tons of stuff and it’s all physical, sweaty work?  Libby got a bath, I cleaned out and reorganized the closet under the stairs (here’s where I really wish I’d taken before & after shots), Matt cleaned up and repacked the camping gear and cleaned up the garage, and the kids did their best to stay out of the way.

10.  And, now, that we’re all settled, and in between trips and visits, I’ve got to do some writing.  Dr. Ackerman, my fave professor from my Masters program, has asked me to write a book chapter with him.  It’s due on August 15 and I’ve not yet started.  Ah, Procrastination…been a long time since I’ve seen you.  Thanks for the clean closets, though.

Thanks to some wonderful new owners, the Yellow House is once again being loved by a family.

See that, right there?  That’s this house after some love and that’s my family walking in the front door.  When I saw them all walking up to the front porch, I hollered at Matt to get a picture.  I wanted to be able to remember what that looked like.  We all went inside -admiring changes, updates and reliving old times – and tromped around through the first floor and back out through the back door.

And then, this happened.

That’s my family walking up the outside stairs to check out the upstairs of the house.  We haven’t been up those stairs in years.  If it’s possible, this house is making up for some lost time and may be even better than when it was last lived in.

This photo is a treasure.  Great-great nieces and nephews and great-great-great grandkids of the people who lived here.  All piled up on a too-small couch and told to smile for a picture.  Priceless.

As hard as it’s been to visit this house in the last few years, this time I left it in peace.  It’s not so sad to leave when it’s full of life and love.  It’s ok to pass it to someone else.  It’s ok for it to change.  I think I just needed a chance to really say goodbye – in a way that was full of family and talk and happiness.  Closure.

For my fellow parents, have you ever really listened to the chorus of that song??  Here’s the video (probably not for kiddos, and it’s not the “clean” version.  Hadn’t seen the video before…oh my).  But, anyway, the lyrics to the chorus are:

Pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel

Like you’re less than perfect

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing

You are perfect to me

You know those days…and especially those mornings?  The ones when you didn’t use all of your nice words and all of your patience?  The ones where you know your kid is amazing, but can’t seem to focus on that through all the whining and arguing?  Those are the days when this song gets me to tears.   For all the sweetness Ava usually is, she can get under my skin like none other.   But, I’m the mom and I’m supposed to be the grown-up, right?  Lately, I’ve been clinging to a mantra I discovered on my mommy-blog wanderings.

If you can’t have grace in the moment,

Have grace in the turnaround.

I don’t ever want to be the voice in her world that makes her think she’s less than perfect.  Even with all of her flaws and foibles, she is perfect, to me.

We started counting our Weight Watchers points six weeks ago and so we’ve been carefully monitoring how much we eat.  That means that home cooked is easiest and healthiest.  It also means no lunches out while at work.  But, since evening time is limited, we do most of our prep on the weekend.  Dinner is cooked fresh every night, but can be on the table 15 minutes after we walk in the door.

Each weekend, I cook a big batch of oatmeal for my breakfast all week, a big batch of brown rice or whole wheat rotini pasta, and Noah’s oatmeal cereal for the week.  Then, I spend some time slicing up veggies for the dinners and for my lunches and making Noah’s vegetable purees. Finally, I slice up either chicken breast or pork tenderloin into 1 oz. chunks and dump some marinade over it (it gets stashed in the fridge and doled out over the week).

Dinner prep is as easy as cooking a measured portion of meat in the skillet, cooking a vegetable (fresh or frozen) in the same skillet, and warming rice or noodles in the microwave.  Whoever isn’t cooking feeds Noah dinner and then he gets to sit with us at the table while we all eat.  Dinner this way is yummy, it’s easy and, maybe the best part, Ava eats every bite.  No more dinner time squabbles and everyone is eating a super healthy meal.

To make the rest of the work week evenings go more smoothly, lunches are packed every Sunday and go to work on Monday morning for the whole week.  I also carry a thing of little yogurts, a bunch of apples, a bag of baby carrots and a bag of string cheese.  It sometimes looks like I’ve got the whole grocery store with me on the way in on Monday, but this way I only have to remember my lunch once a week.  Since sleep deprivation is such a powerful thing, only having to remember once a week is key here.

I also prepare Noah’s breakfast and lunch for the whole week on Sunday.  They get labeled with dates and then stacked in the fridge in order.  Then, when I do bottles each night, I only have to grab one dish off of each stack of food to add to his bag.  One less thing to think about in the hurry of the evening.

As far as exercise goes, we don’t have time to get to a gym so we’re making workout time family time whenever we can.  Since we added a double jogger to our stroller arsenal in October, we can all go together when the schedule doesn’t allow time for Matt & I to run separately.  I’m in week six of the Couch to 5K running program and, while it wouldn’t be challenging enough for Matt on its own, it’s tough enough when he’s pushing two kiddos in a stroller to make it possible to go together.

Of course, all this healthy living can get a bit tiresome and we like to break from routine on weekends.  We usually just cook a more involved meal from the Weight Watchers cookbook, but Sundays nights will often see us gathered around a non-supper at the coffee table rather than seated at the dining room table. (Twizzlers were a very special treat for a finicky Mommy this weekend…and most of the bag is still hidden in the pantry.  A major feat for this sugar shover!)

And, this weekend, Matt and I had date night right here at home.  In spite of a pukey pre-schooler and a baby with a cough, we managed to get two kids to bed at the same time and then made ourselves a fancy steak dinner.  Loaded baked potatoes, sourdough bread, a nice bottle of wine and some yummy asparagus made our place the place to be on Saturday night.  We even broke out the fancy dishes!

The company was pretty good too.

So, we’re six weeks in and things are going pretty well.  I can see this being a plan that we stick with long term.  But, Matt & I agree on two very important keys to success – we all do the same thing together (no prepping multiple meals for different groups of family members) and it’s ok to take breaks if we need them.  We keep each other on track and either of us can step in to get the family gathered ’round the table at dinner time.

I hope that when we look back on these days the bustle of it all fades a bit and what we remember is the time we made for sitting down, sharing a meal, chatting about our days.  I think that will make for pretty good memories.

Carrie is an incredibly strong woman.  During TPS, she was our go-to girl for the tough projects and she always had more on her plate than any three of us put together.  So, it’s been no surprise to the Bond girls to see Carrie fight her disease with equal measures of tenacity and grace.  She’s been supported beautifully by friends and family in Florida, but Bond girls all over the country (world!  Hi, Sari!) are fighting for her too.

The Florida Team (Carrie on the far right, Debbie & Lynette right next to her)

The Edwards Team @ the TPS finish line

Sarah & me in Vegas

So, Carrie ran a 5K on Sunday.  But, so did all the Bond girls, in her honor.  It’s been so inspiring to me to see these women, who I love like sisters, get themselves together and overcome scheduling, deployments, illness, & injury to get on the road and running.  Carrie is our inspiration, but the challenge has made us all get up and moving…together.  Of course, we all have our supporters.  David marked out a 5K route for us to follow Sunday and he & Matt have both been supportive of Sarah’s and my efforts to get out and train.  And I know the other MOTOs have stepped up to help the other girls prepare too.

Our girls waiting for us to finish

Almost Done!

I’m so proud of these ladies.  I’m so certain Carrie will be well.  No matter what happens, the Bond girls are going to be there for her every step of the way.

Team Carrie

I don’t run away from a challenge because I am afraid.

Instead, I run toward it because the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet.