Our annual trip to Kansas is, of course, an opportunity to visit family, but it has also served as an opportunity to make a pilgrimage of sorts.  Each Memorial Day, as my family gathers to celebrate our country and honor the family we’ve lost, Matt & I also take a trip “up the road” to visit the Yellow House.  In the past couple of years, that’s been a kind of difficult thing to do.  The house was falling into disrepair and we no longer had access to it the way we had in the past.  If those years were difficult, this year was closure.

Thanks to some wonderful new owners, the Yellow House is once again being loved by a family.

See that, right there?  That’s this house after some love and that’s my family walking in the front door.  When I saw them all walking up to the front porch, I hollered at Matt to get a picture.  I wanted to be able to remember what that looked like.  We all went inside -admiring changes, updates and reliving old times – and tromped around through the first floor and back out through the back door.

And then, this happened.

That’s my family walking up the outside stairs to check out the upstairs of the house.  We haven’t been up those stairs in years.  If it’s possible, this house is making up for some lost time and may be even better than when it was last lived in.

This photo is a treasure.  Great-great nieces and nephews and great-great-great grandkids of the people who lived here.  All piled up on a too-small couch and told to smile for a picture.  Priceless.

As hard as it’s been to visit this house in the last few years, this time I left it in peace.  It’s not so sad to leave when it’s full of life and love.  It’s ok to pass it to someone else.  It’s ok for it to change.  I think I just needed a chance to really say goodbye – in a way that was full of family and talk and happiness.  Closure.

I get all teary-eyed on my way to work.  It’s decidedly NOT good for the makeup and puffy eye situation I have most days.  But, our XM radio (Channel 10, The Pulse) insists on using the same playlist for weeks on end.  And, so, I hear the song “Perfect” by P!nk at about 0730 every morning.

For my fellow parents, have you ever really listened to the chorus of that song??  Here’s the video (probably not for kiddos, and it’s not the “clean” version.  Hadn’t seen the video before…oh my).  But, anyway, the lyrics to the chorus are:

Pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel

Like you’re less than perfect

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing

You are perfect to me

You know those days…and especially those mornings?  The ones when you didn’t use all of your nice words and all of your patience?  The ones where you know your kid is amazing, but can’t seem to focus on that through all the whining and arguing?  Those are the days when this song gets me to tears.   For all the sweetness Ava usually is, she can get under my skin like none other.   But, I’m the mom and I’m supposed to be the grown-up, right?  Lately, I’ve been clinging to a mantra I discovered on my mommy-blog wanderings.

If you can’t have grace in the moment,

Have grace in the turnaround.

I don’t ever want to be the voice in her world that makes her think she’s less than perfect.  Even with all of her flaws and foibles, she is perfect, to me.

I think someday Matt & I might look back on this part of our lives and wonder just how we managed to do it.  Sleepless nights, two people working outside the home, and two little kiddos makes for busy days.  We’ve also started to add exercise and more eating at home into that mix, so that adds a little more complexity to the “get home from work” routine.  In an effort to make more time at the end of the day to hang out as a family, we’ve created a routine that seems to be working for us.

We started counting our Weight Watchers points six weeks ago and so we’ve been carefully monitoring how much we eat.  That means that home cooked is easiest and healthiest.  It also means no lunches out while at work.  But, since evening time is limited, we do most of our prep on the weekend.  Dinner is cooked fresh every night, but can be on the table 15 minutes after we walk in the door.

Each weekend, I cook a big batch of oatmeal for my breakfast all week, a big batch of brown rice or whole wheat rotini pasta, and Noah’s oatmeal cereal for the week.  Then, I spend some time slicing up veggies for the dinners and for my lunches and making Noah’s vegetable purees. Finally, I slice up either chicken breast or pork tenderloin into 1 oz. chunks and dump some marinade over it (it gets stashed in the fridge and doled out over the week).

Dinner prep is as easy as cooking a measured portion of meat in the skillet, cooking a vegetable (fresh or frozen) in the same skillet, and warming rice or noodles in the microwave.  Whoever isn’t cooking feeds Noah dinner and then he gets to sit with us at the table while we all eat.  Dinner this way is yummy, it’s easy and, maybe the best part, Ava eats every bite.  No more dinner time squabbles and everyone is eating a super healthy meal.

To make the rest of the work week evenings go more smoothly, lunches are packed every Sunday and go to work on Monday morning for the whole week.  I also carry a thing of little yogurts, a bunch of apples, a bag of baby carrots and a bag of string cheese.  It sometimes looks like I’ve got the whole grocery store with me on the way in on Monday, but this way I only have to remember my lunch once a week.  Since sleep deprivation is such a powerful thing, only having to remember once a week is key here.

I also prepare Noah’s breakfast and lunch for the whole week on Sunday.  They get labeled with dates and then stacked in the fridge in order.  Then, when I do bottles each night, I only have to grab one dish off of each stack of food to add to his bag.  One less thing to think about in the hurry of the evening.

As far as exercise goes, we don’t have time to get to a gym so we’re making workout time family time whenever we can.  Since we added a double jogger to our stroller arsenal in October, we can all go together when the schedule doesn’t allow time for Matt & I to run separately.  I’m in week six of the Couch to 5K running program and, while it wouldn’t be challenging enough for Matt on its own, it’s tough enough when he’s pushing two kiddos in a stroller to make it possible to go together.

Of course, all this healthy living can get a bit tiresome and we like to break from routine on weekends.  We usually just cook a more involved meal from the Weight Watchers cookbook, but Sundays nights will often see us gathered around a non-supper at the coffee table rather than seated at the dining room table. (Twizzlers were a very special treat for a finicky Mommy this weekend…and most of the bag is still hidden in the pantry.  A major feat for this sugar shover!)

And, this weekend, Matt and I had date night right here at home.  In spite of a pukey pre-schooler and a baby with a cough, we managed to get two kids to bed at the same time and then made ourselves a fancy steak dinner.  Loaded baked potatoes, sourdough bread, a nice bottle of wine and some yummy asparagus made our place the place to be on Saturday night.  We even broke out the fancy dishes!

The company was pretty good too.

So, we’re six weeks in and things are going pretty well.  I can see this being a plan that we stick with long term.  But, Matt & I agree on two very important keys to success – we all do the same thing together (no prepping multiple meals for different groups of family members) and it’s ok to take breaks if we need them.  We keep each other on track and either of us can step in to get the family gathered ’round the table at dinner time.

I hope that when we look back on these days the bustle of it all fades a bit and what we remember is the time we made for sitting down, sharing a meal, chatting about our days.  I think that will make for pretty good memories.

…when on Earth did this happen?

My very dear friend, and fellow Bond girl, Carrie, ran a 5K on Sunday morning.  Since she’s a runner and has completed a half marathon, that’s maybe not so impressive.  But, you might remember that I mentioned that she has been very ill for the last six months.  In fact, she’s still receiving weekly chemo treatments to combat her diagnosed MAS.  That makes this story very impressive indeed.

Carrie is an incredibly strong woman.  During TPS, she was our go-to girl for the tough projects and she always had more on her plate than any three of us put together.  So, it’s been no surprise to the Bond girls to see Carrie fight her disease with equal measures of tenacity and grace.  She’s been supported beautifully by friends and family in Florida, but Bond girls all over the country (world!  Hi, Sari!) are fighting for her too.

The Florida Team (Carrie on the far right, Debbie & Lynette right next to her)

The Edwards Team @ the TPS finish line

Sarah & me in Vegas

So, Carrie ran a 5K on Sunday.  But, so did all the Bond girls, in her honor.  It’s been so inspiring to me to see these women, who I love like sisters, get themselves together and overcome scheduling, deployments, illness, & injury to get on the road and running.  Carrie is our inspiration, but the challenge has made us all get up and moving…together.  Of course, we all have our supporters.  David marked out a 5K route for us to follow Sunday and he & Matt have both been supportive of Sarah’s and my efforts to get out and train.  And I know the other MOTOs have stepped up to help the other girls prepare too.

Our girls waiting for us to finish

Almost Done!

I’m so proud of these ladies.  I’m so certain Carrie will be well.  No matter what happens, the Bond girls are going to be there for her every step of the way.

Team Carrie

I don’t run away from a challenge because I am afraid.

Instead, I run toward it because the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet.